Funny hashtag right?

Anyway, I’ve had a really hard time lately.  It’s probably not what you think, I’m not having a hard time in my personal life, or in my marriage, or with my children.  Honestly, I’m having a hard time with the general population.  That seems stupid as I type that out but it’s the truth.

All I have seen lately, as I’m scrolling down my newsfeed, is people being assholes.  And honestly it makes me so mad, and irritated, and completely turned off by the outside world.  I swear, no matter what I’m doing on Facebook or Twitter Twatter, there’s someone, somewhere being a dick.  And I just do not understand it.

I feel like I’m missing something, because I have to be right? It’s like everyone around is being an asshole and I’m over here in the corner trying to figure out why or how they sleep at night knowing that the words they spoke or typed has actually hurt someone.

I’m going to confess something and I know, it might be a shock.  I am a former asshole.  That’s right.  I said it.  I used to be an asshole.  I’m sure everyone at some point in their life flaunted the asshole flaw.  No one is perfect.  I’m certainly not.  But, here’s the thing, it never felt good being that person.  I always felt so much guilt from the things I would say to people in my unstable and passionate mind.  Days later I would be beating myself up over it with no clue how to fix it.  You can’t take back the things you say.  You can’t erase them from someone’s mind.  You can apologize but the words you say will always ring in their ears and come to the front and center of their minds when they see you.  And even now, years after I got my shit together and learned how to control myself, I still feel guilty.  I can’t see certain people without remembering the awful things I said, I can only imagine what it’s like, being the person on the other end of my viciousness, when they look at me.  I hate that.  And I don’t think people who are current assholes realize that is how it will be down the line.

It saddens me to read these articles, to see these videos, to watch as the general population tears each other to pieces all for one reason; their right to freedom of speech.  Yes, it’s totally your right to say what you want.  But should you? Should you say those terrible things to someone? Should you tell the girl who is uncomfortable in her own skin already, that you find her unattractive? Should you tell someone that without makeup they are hideous? Should you tell the gay couple who are enthralled over the fact that they’ve been fighting for years to have the rights they’ve finaally been given, that they don’t deserve it, that they are nothing less than a spawn of the devil, just because that’s what you believe? Should you step on the american flag, or shit on it (a new video I recently saw), just because you’re unhappy with the direction your country is going? The answer to these questions is simple.  Probably not.  Why? Why shouldn’t you say what you really feel if you have the right to do so? Well it’s also simple; because it does nothing but tear people down.  That’s not constructive and that wasn’t the point of freedom of speech.  The point was to give people the platform to fight for their opinions…in constructive ways.  Taking to social media to film people beating up others for being a different race from them (Not just white vs blacks by the way), or writing posts about how someone somewhere should die because they’re ugly, or spreading lies about others because you do not agree with them is not what freedom of speech is about.  That’s being an asshole.  That’s being cruel.  That’s not being a decent human being.  It kind of blows my mind that I’m even posting about that.  I mean, that should be common sense right? Well, surprisingly enough, it isn’t.

I can’t even get on any social media page without my heart hurting for someone.  Sure, I’m a little bit more empathetic towards peoples feelings, but that doesn’t make it any less true that people need to take the time to realize what their words can do.  I get it.  I totally understand being so passionate about a subject that you want the entire world to know your stance.  But I also get what it can do to people when that passion turns to cruelty.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t speak your mind, all I’m saying is it’s worth taking a second to filter through your thoughts and make sure that your point isn’t to tear someone down.  It’s true that there is always going to be at least one person that disagrees with you, that’s something you can’t fix, but you can fix the way your words impact another life.  Try to use your words to impact them for good, to inspire them to take a second look at your beliefs, to give them determination to become understanding and respectful.

It may not seem like doing that once or twice could actually make a difference, but it can.  Once people start to change their mindset, start to see the goodness in people and not just the negative, things can change.

Don’t be an asshole.  Don’t be a douche canoe.  Just try to be nice for the sake of being nice.  You’d be surprised as to what it does for you as a person.